Sick of Your Match Texting and Not Calling? Try this.
In the era of smartphones and dating apps like Say Allo, texting has become the primary mode of communication for the majority of singles in the dating universe.
For better or worse, modern courtship has been reduced to cycles of text messages, embedded with hidden meaning and flirty emojis that singles have to decode and respond to (with some sass hopefully). Programs, books and coaches teaching the art of texting are now ubiquitous!
Instead of a movie or dinner date night or heart-to-heart phone call, many singles today rendezvous over instant messages, social media posts, phone texts and other tech-based communication, leaving many of them frustrated and craving for more intimate contact.
Experts say that besides the “hookup culture” defined by commitment-free, spontaneous and romantic flings, technology is a major factor for the decline of traditional dating rituals.
Most young singles today, especially men, view picking up the telephone and asking someone out on a date as an inconvenience that requires strategic planning and takes time out of their schedule. Texting makes it so much easier to juggle tasks (and other potential matches).
There is a small percentage of singles who prefer texting in the early stages of dating, instead of calling, because they have anxiety when it comes to dealing with a fear of rejection. Texting offers safety and comfort, and takes away the pressure of being vulnerable with someone.
In such cases incessant texting does not indicate a lack of interest. In fact, it can be a positive sign of a connection that could lead to something promising. But it does require patience while you wait for the person to muster the courage to take things to the next level.
For the most part, too much texting and less talking is not a good start to any relationship. It’s a shallow substitute for a real connection, where people get to know each other on a deeper level.
Dating coach, Evan Marc Katz, says that texting must be the icing and not the cake. “If these texts are used in ADDITION to phone, email, and actual dates, they’re fine,” he writes.
The reason why we need to be cautious of matches who send us a barrage of texts, is that it signals a lack of commitment. There’s a high chance they’re texting other potentials, and they’re avoiding making a true connection with you because they want to keep their options open.
If you find yourself spending more time with your phone than an actual person, you need to change your strategy and how you communicate your needs. By accepting someone texting and never calling you, you’re essentially letting them know that it’s okay to treat you this way.
You can take back your power by using these tactics, and get that serial texter to finally call you:
Give them an incentive to call you.
Getting a person to call you starts understanding the basics of human behavior. You have to somehow make the idea of calling you appealing. The right incentive will drive them to take action. It can be anything from being able to hear your voice to learning more intimate details about a text conversation you had. See it as a soft nudge, making you more accessible. Whatever you use to incentivize your match, make sure you’re comfortable with it. Winning the heart of the right person won’t require you to stoop low.
Be less available
Another effective way to get them to call you is by making yourself less available. As the law of scarcity suggests, if anything appears to be in limited supply, our perception of its value increases significantly. This causes us to buy limited edition items or desire our ex even more after they move on. By making yourself less available you become more attractive to another person. Appear less available to them by delaying your replies to their messages or letting them know that you’re unavailable during certain hours. Remember to keep it light, flirty and playful when you say it—you don’t want to sound like prima-donna.
Break the ice yourself
Instead of waiting around for them to make a move, do it yourself. This might be harder for women to do because they’re concerned about coming across as aggressive and needy, but there are many guys who perceive this move as attractive and a sign of self-confidence. It might even be a relief for some men because it takes the pressure off them to make a move. The key is to keep the conversation short, light-hearted and end it before they do, so that you leave them wanting more. This would get them to call you the next time.
Just ask them
If calling them feels too direct, another option is just asking them to call you. Your request could be something as simple as, “Hey would be nice to hear your voice, why don’t you give me a call?” or “I’ll be done with work in an hour. Why don’t we chat on the phone once I’m done?” Keeping it breezy and casual lets them know that you didn’t overthink it and takes away any desperate vibes. Requesting to speak with them shows that you care and that you’re interested in getting to know them better. You’re also establishing your standards and your needs early on, laying the groundwork for a relationship based on a mutual respect for needs.
Know your value and what you have to offer
Before trying any of these out, you may have to work through your fears of losing potential matches. When you step up your game and raise your standards, you run the risk of losing a chunk of the dating pool. But if you’re interested in landing a healthy committed relationship with a real person (and not a texting buddy), taking these steps will save you from lost time (and a broken heart). Knowing your value will help you overcome fears. You’ll realize you’re worthy of only those who make the effort and invest in you. If someone is truly interested in you, they’ll do whatever it takes to win you over — and that starts with picking up the phone to call you.
Ready to Say Allo to fall in LOVE with that special someone?
Enjoy built-in video dating , and other great features such as compatibility reports by downloading Say Allo at JustSayAllo.com for free. Available for iOS and Android.
